Category Archives: Authentic Relationships in the Church

“I Already Know That!”

In my years of serving as a Christian mediator, I have been privileged to assist extraordinarily gifted men and women of great faith and world-class formal educations. In one such situation, I was sitting between two (very angry) co-senior pastors … Continue reading

Posted in Authentic Relationships in the Church, Causes of Church Conflict, Conflicts involving church leaders, Conflicts with our youth pastor | Leave a comment

When Friends Talk About Us Behind Our Backs

(A re-post from Easter 2014) It is always such a shock to discover friends (real friends!) are talking about us (critically) behind our backs. Sometimes, their motivations really are loving and God-honoring—they are seeking counsel, prayer, and encouragement for how to face a … Continue reading

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One Reason Why Your Church is Losing Its Youth: Look at How (Gracelessly!) You Treat One Another

Just as I was posting Dave’s most recent article on “preserving your pastor,” my friend Melodee posted a link to this article on Facebook and I was struck by how much the two overlapped: Reaching Our Young People The article … Continue reading

Posted in Authentic Relationships in the Church, Biblical peacemaking in the church, Conflicts involving church leaders, Conflicts with our youth pastor | 1 Comment

Q. OK. We’re “reconciled.” I guess. But how could we ever trust one another again?

Q. OK. We’re “reconciled.” I guess. But how could we ever trust one another again? A. Trust God. Love People. So how do Christians rebuild trust with one another in the aftermath of church conflict, even if problems have been … Continue reading

Posted in Authentic Relationships in the Church, Biblical peacemaking in the church, Strengthening the Church, Uncategorized

Are Your Church Relationships Otiose? (Vain. Ineffective. Of no use.)

Q. How can church-going Christians truly build the “ties that bind” and cultivate “the unity of the Spirit through the bonds of peace?” through intimate, safe, authentic relationships that will persevere through conflict? A. “Where a people prays, there is … Continue reading

Posted in Authentic Relationships in the Church, Biblical peacemaking in the church, Disappointment in the church, HOPE in the midst of conflict

The Greatest Danger to Your Pastor’s Spiritual Growth

I have always believed that the highest character trait of a Christian is humility. There are many statements in the Bible that support my position. Here are just a few: This is the one I esteem: he who is humble … Continue reading

Posted in Abusive churches, Authentic Relationships in the Church, Biblical peacemaking in the church, Causes of Church Conflict, Conflicts involving church leaders, Conflicts with our youth pastor | 3 Comments

How to Preserve Your Pastor (Parts 6 and 7): Sharing Ministry…with Friends

For the past several weeks I have been posting articles that interact with Dr. Thom Rainer’s research titled The Top Seven Regrets of Pastors based on his interviews of twenty-plus pastors who had been in Christian ministry for at least … Continue reading

Posted in Authentic Relationships in the Church, Biblical peacemaking in the church, Conflicts involving church leaders, Conflicts with our youth pastor | Leave a comment

“Helping entrenched people is what we do and who we are.” (Pastor Whipple of Kossuth Street Baptist Church)

Dave and I were blessed this morning to read the following article by Pastor Whipple of Kossuth Street Baptist Church in Lafayette, Indiana: Redeeming Church Conflicts I especially appreciated Pastor Whipple’s encouragement for his church members to be prepared to redeem conflict … Continue reading

Posted in Authentic Relationships in the Church, Biblical peacemaking in the church, Change in the Church, Excerpts from "Redeeming Church Conflicts", Reviews of "Redeeming Church Conflicts" | Leave a comment

Do You Always Have to Confess Before Confronting?

Q. Do you always have to personally confess before you confront someone in the church with their sin? If I don’t have anything to confess, but I know the other person won’t listen to me if I don’t confess something … Continue reading

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Two Elements of Redeeming Church Conflict: Intentionality and Contentment

Q. How can I maintain an “eternal perspective” given the harsh realities of this church conflict? A. It is one thing to give mental assent to the concept of living from an “eternal perspective,” and quite another to actually fit … Continue reading

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