Monthly Archives: January 2015

How to Preserve Your Pastor (Parts 6 and 7): Sharing Ministry…with Friends

For the past several weeks I have been posting articles that interact with Dr. Thom Rainer’s research titled The Top Seven Regrets of Pastors based on his interviews of twenty-plus pastors who had been in Christian ministry for at least … Continue reading

Posted in Authentic Relationships in the Church, Biblical peacemaking in the church, Conflicts involving church leaders, Conflicts with our youth pastor | Leave a comment

How to Preserve Your Pastor (Part 5): Failure to Understand Basic Business and Finance Issues

This is Part 5 of a seven part series interacting with Dr. Thom Rainer’s research reported in his article The Top Seven Regrets of Pastors. Today’s focus is on the problems of the church being in the world—specifically, that a … Continue reading

Posted in Causes of Church Conflict, Conflicts involving church leaders | Leave a comment

How to Preserve Your Pastor (Part 4): Family Time

[This is part 4 of a seven part series on How to Preserve Your Pastor. I have organized this series around Dr. Tom Ranier’s article: The Top Seven Regrets of Pastors, in which he interviews 22 seasoned pastors. The top regret of … Continue reading

Posted in Causes of Church Conflict, Conflicts involving church leaders, Conflicts with our youth pastor | Leave a comment

How to Preserve Your Pastor (Part 3): Failure to Exercise Faith

This is part 3 of a seven part series on How to Preserve Your Pastor. I have organized this series around Dr. Tom Ranier’s excellent article: The Top Seven Regrets of Pastors. The top regret of pastors has to do with the … Continue reading

Posted in Causes of Church Conflict, Conflicts involving church leaders, Conflicts with our youth pastor | 2 Comments

How to Preserve Your Pastor (Part 2)—Pastoral Over-Concern about Critics: The Relationship Between “Fear of Man” and the Failure of Accountability

This is part 2 of a seven part series on How to Preserve Your Pastor. I have organized this series around Dr. Tom Ranier’s excellent article: The Top Seven Regrets of Pastors. The top regret of pastors has to do … Continue reading

Posted in Church discipline, Conflicts involving church leaders, Conflicts with our youth pastor, Confrontation | 2 Comments

How to Preserve Your Pastor (Part 1) — Lack of Practical Training for Local Church Ministry: The Problem of Misguided and Misstated Expectations

My three part series “How to Fire Your Pastor” sadly continues to remain the most frequently searched title that lands people on this website. I hope the title of this series will change that statistic! Recently, Dr. Thom Rainer, president … Continue reading

Posted in Biblical peacemaking in the church, Causes of Church Conflict, Conflicts involving church leaders, Conflicts with our youth pastor | 3 Comments

How can I even consider reconciliation when there has been no justice?

Q. How can I even consider reconciliation when there has been no justice? A recent situation has left our church in great turmoil. We have been encouraged to live at peace and reconcile with those who have gotten away with … Continue reading

Posted in Justice and peacemaking | Leave a comment

Before You Criticize the Leaders, Besmirch the Fellowship, and Stomp Out of A Church …

As a Christian mediator who works in conflicted churches, it is a normal thing for me to spend hours with people who are disgruntled with their church leadership and members. I’ve listened to furious people and heart-broken people. I’ve taken … Continue reading

Posted in Confrontation, Disappointment in the church, RedeemingLINKS | 1 Comment

Even People Who Need Help Can Appear Righteous and Mature

Just as 1 Corinthians 2:14 warns us not to expect a person who has not placed their faith in Christ for eternal life to respond biblically to life’s situations, so too, Ezekiel 14:4 warns those who would seek wisdom from … Continue reading

Posted in Biblical peacemaking in the church, Causes of Church Conflict, Postmodern Relativism and Church Conflict, Spiritual Blindness | Leave a comment

“One reason people cling to the hurts they have received is that it gives them an excuse for being angry …”

My friend and one of my heroes of the faith, Ajith Fernando, graciously gave me permission to share this with you. It includes some of his key teachings from Reclaiming Love: Radical Relationships in a Complex World (which I just ordered and am … Continue reading

Posted in Anger and Church Conflict | Leave a comment