An excellent post by Pastor Thabiti Anyabwile:
Pastor Thabiti starts by exploring what we really mean by “the church”: the church universal? The local church? The church’s leadership? An individual or small group?
And then he gives wise, wise counsel as to how we are to respond:
1. Take your pain to the Lord who bore your pain and bore the sin of those who offended. In His arms are 10,000 charms.
2. Take your heart to the ones who actually offended you and seek reconciliation–and if necessary take godly, impartial help.
3. Stop saying, “The church hurt me.” It’s affecting your heart toward an entire congregation, many of whom are likely unaware and uninvolved in your hurt, and possibly affecting your heart toward all Christians everywhere. Don’t blame “the church.” Don’t spread your “hurt” over a wider area. If you do, it will dominate you. But if you target your pain and your reconciliation efforts–making it as small and specific as you can–you’ll experience greater control over and freedom from the hurt.
4. Do realize that not every church hurt you and people are not “all the same.” Find a local church you can join. Start slow if you need to. But let the Lord’s manifold grace come to you in the fellowship of His people. That’s normally how He comforts us in our trouble and pain (2 cor. 1).
5. Live in hope. Your Lord is also Lord of the Church. He cares for your brokenness but also the brokenness of the Church. And guess what? Your pain is the means He will use to teach the church to grow in love and their love will be the means of your healing. The church needs your hurt and you need the church’s love.
I encourage you to read the whole thing.